Are You Going To Spend Your Whole Life Wondering?
by MyHeartBelongsToDaniel
Summary: A little Crellie with some Esse [elliejesse]. Takes place when ellie and jesse are dating. I've been told it makes a nice story, decide for yourself, but most importently, click the lovely purple review button on the left. You know you want to. XOXOX.


I don't own degrassi, nor do I own any characters, or the song, Praise the Chorus, which is owned by Jimmy Eat World.

**Are you gonna live your life wondering,  
Standing in the back,  
Looking around?  
**

He looks around, wondering where she could be. Wasn't she here just a second ago? But no. That was a year ago, and Ellie had graduated. She moved on. She found her new, "editor-man."

**Are you gonna waste your time thinking,  
How you've grown up,  
Or how you missed out?  
**

Craig continues to think about lost time. Did he ever really love Ellie? Or did he just want to forget about his mistakes; his regrets?

**Things are never gonna be the way you want.  
Where's it gonna get you acting serious?  
Things are never gonna be quite what you want,  
Or even at 25,  
You gotta start sometime.  
**

After spending what seemed like hours, but what was only mere minutes thinking, he decided he would win her back. "Yes. I'll get her. I know she loves me. I love her." He thought, more reassuring himself than stating that he felt the same way as she did.

**I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go.  
Now all I need is just to hear a song I know.  
I wanna always feel like part of this,  
Was,   
Mine.  
I wanna fall in love tonight.  
**

After begging Marco to let him come over without telling Ellie -- although Craig new Marco would, in fact, tell Ellie, and she would play "dumb," only very badly -- he knew that he needed to clean himself up. He would start going back to group. Start taking his medication again. Get off the coke.

**  
Are you gonna live your life,  
Standing in the back,  
Looking around?  
**

After three weeks of group, and three weeks as an outpatient for a local clinic, he was clean and ready to win Ellie back.

**  
Are you gonna waste your time?  
Gotta make a move,  
Or you'll miss out.  
**

What Craig didn't know was that Jesse would be at the dinner. What Craig also didn't know was that Marco wasn't going to tell Ellie; he didn't think it was anything major, thus not an important topic of conversation. Marco wasn't told that Craig still had unmentioned feelings for Ellie, and therefore, Marco invited Jesse. Ellie was pretty, well, incredibly, close to Jesse anyway.

**  
Someone's gonna ask you what it's all about.  
Stick around nostalgia won't let you down.  
Someone's gonna ask you what it's all about.  
Whatcha gonna have to say,  
For yourself?  
**

Ellie was shocked. She knew it would be a night to remember, but not for the reason would be. It was meant to be her and Jesse's one-month anniversary, and they were going to celebrate it with a special dinner, with Marco's famous Italian cuisine. If only she had told Marco this.

**  
I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go.  
Now all I need is just to hear a song I know.  
I wanna always feel like part of this,  
Was,   
Mine.  
I wanna fall in love tonight.  
**

The doorbell rang, and Ellie answered it in her sexiest outfit, a white corset over a black long-sleeved shirt, and a short black skirt, expecting to find Jesse, only to find Craig.

**  
Crimson,  
And clover,  
Over,  
And over.  
Crimson,  
And clover,  
Over,   
And over.  
Crimson,  
And clover,  
Over,  
And over.**

Ellie's heart skipped a beat when she saw him. "No. No. I don't have feelings for him anymore. I like Jesse." Ellie kept repeating to herself – silently of course. With the smell of melting cheese and tomato sauce wafting around, Ellie looks questionably at Craig.

**Our house in the middle of the street  
Why did we ever meet?  
Started my rock 'n roll fantasy.  
**

"Why are you here, Craig?" Ellie asks, almost desperately, expecting Jesse to show up at any moment, to find her here in a tête-à-tête with her past crush.

**Crimson,  
And clover,  
Over,  
And over.  
Don't don't,  
Don't let's start.  
Why did we ever part?  
Kick start my rock 'n rollen heart.  
**

"I-I-I-I love y-you Ellie," Craig manages to get out, just as Jesse rounds the corner, Marco starts setting the table, and Ellie stumbles in the doorway with dismay.

**  
I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go.  
So come on Davey sing me something that I know.  
I wanna always feel like part of this,   
Was,  
Mine.**

"No. No, Craig. You can't. You love Manny," Ellie tries to spell it out for him, but she just can't seem to get him to understand her pain, all coming rushing back. The urges to cut, the pain that Craig caused, because he chose Manny over her. The utter anger he caused her.

"I don't love you Craig. I can't. I won't."

**  
I wanna fall in love tonight,  
Here tonight.  
I wanna fall in love tonight,  
Here tonight.  
I wanna always feel like part of this,  
Was,  
Mine.**

She runs over to Jesse, ready to celebrate their anniversary, but with the lingering thought of Craig in her mind. When they sit down, she's stunned to find that Craig's still there; that he didn't leave when she delivered what she thought was devastating news for him.

**  
I wanna fall in love tonight.  
I wanna fall in love tonight.  
I wanna fall in love tonight...**

After a fabulous dinner, with incredibly awkward dinner conversation, although calling it a conversation would be stretching it. They didn't talk about ideas. They talked about things. Ellie began to feel tired like she never did before.

**I wanna fall in love tonight...**

Ellie woke up the next morning without any recollection of the night before. She didn't recognize where she was, or what she was wearing. Then she turned over and saw someone that would be one of the biggest regrets of her life.


End file.
